An insignificant dream !

We last spoke of Helena (05/ 18), the mother of two children. She had just learnt she was pregnant and  was left facing a painful dilemma : Would she keep her baby or abort ?  She incubated a dream but it did not tell her what she should do. However it advised her to look within herself to discover what she really wanted. 

And so Helena is still tormented. 

Knowing how trying this situation is for her, I phone her to see how she is doing.

 - Helena, how are you?

- I have unbelievable headaches, nausea and I’m exhausted.

- Did you see the doctor as planned?

- No, my gynecologist won’t be there till next week and the G.P. is away.

- Did you get a dream?

- Pff! I don’t know what, it was something hazy. Wof !  A thing, almost nothing, I’ve half forgotten anyway.

As for me, I’m not offended, her reaction illustrates the general attitude towards dreams in France.I reply :

- It doesn’t matter Helena. If you want, we can look at the dream. Tell me what you remember of it. 

Dream

I was with a guy, a young man.  I found him attractive.  We walked side by side on the street.  I was trying to get closer to him, but he wasn’t responding.

Interpretation    

I proceed methodically with the interview technique :

A young man

I ask her the usual question :

- Helena, what is a young man?

- It’s a dynamic man, full of ambition who wants to make his life a success.

- How does a young man live?

- He’s not responsible for a family yet and he can live all kinds of experiences.

I recapitulate the description and establish the link with her daily life :

- So, at this time, what does a dynamic person, who wants to live all kinds of experiences and not be responsible for a family, remind you of?

- Oh!  Ha! Well, it’s me, who would like to live differently and that’s why I’m hesitating to keep the baby.

So then, according to Helena’s own associations, the young man represents the side of Helena, who doesn’t want to have the baby.

Let’ us see further:

I found him attractive. 

The young woman is attracted, tempted to adopt the young man’s attitude, refusing the responsibility to take care of a third child.

Now the dream considers what would happen, if Helena chose to live like the young man.

We are walking side by side on the street

- What is a street ?

- The street  is where everyday life takes place, answers Helena

- What is that street like?

- It’s small, it’s dark.

- So, it describes a dark little everyday life.

 I try to get more details and ask :

- Could you give the name of this street ?

- Euh…Evylod street.

- Evylod ? Sounds like a pun, a play on words, they are frequent in dreams. Tell me, Helena, do you hear something in Evylod ?

- …Yes,… I hear heavy, … and lod, load ! Oh ! Evylod sounds like… “heavy load”.  My God, Helena cries out, that’s what I thought. This decision would be a heavy load to carry.  I would be haunted by the idea that I could have kept the baby.

A few seconds of emotion.

Then I continue exploring the images and ask :

- In what city is this street located ?

- In the city I lived in, when I was a teenager, answers Helena. I don’t feel like going back there.

All of a sudden Helena flares up:

- At that time I was completely immature, I went out, I was partying all the time, I was irresponsible.  I screwed around a lot, I drank and smoked pot, it was “anything goes”!  I don’t ever want to live like that again.

I am astounded and tell her :

- Helena, did you hear what you just said ?

No, when the dreamer describes an element of her dream, she doesn’t realize what she’s saying, so it’s up to me to recapitulate her comments so that she will become aware.

- Listen Helena, I will recapitulate what you’ve said :

If you decide to abort (walking with the young man)

- you will end up in a small, dark life (street)

- also bearing a heavy remorse (heavy load).

This would be the price to pay, because you preferred to go out, party and have affairs. 

But you say you don’t want that kind of life anymore, so what does it mean ?

Helena is silent, she thinks, she tries to find an answer and finally mumbles :

- So, hum,… it means that I don’t want to find myself in the same situation as before and so… that I don’t want to go with that young man…  And so…

But, that means… that means …that means I want to keep the child... …

I WANT TO KEEP THE CHILD the mother cries out !

 She continues :

- Ho, it’s unreal!  That’s what I felt, I’ve always wanted a third child but I was lost.

The voice of the young woman is trembling and I am also teary eyed.

The following dream images barely necessitate an interpretation.

I was trying to get closer to him, but he wasn’t responding.

The side of Helena who would like to experience all kinds of pleasures and activities in the outside world can’t be matched with the one who is pregnant. Helena can’t cumulate these two facets of herself simultaneously.  It’s one or the other.

Commentary

This young man is the opposite image of Sarkosy’s son, who appeared in her preceding dream.  Through these different images we become aware that our inner world is made up of opposites.  In Helena’s case, at this time, the opposites are

- on the one hand : discipline, effort, work

- and on the other hand : an easy life, pleasure and irresponsibility.

Now Helena has chosen.

We are both profoundly touched, filled with immense gratitude and marvel in regards to the dream.

Such an insignificant little dream, so unimpressive that the dreamer didn’t even want to look at it.

This benevolent dream made Helena aware of what she deeply wanted. Here again the dream doesn’t show her what she should do, it merely shows her the consequences of her choice. Then it’s up to her to draw her own conclusion and make her own choice.

And Helena chose lightheartedly.

Illustrations

I thank the artists for their illustrations listed in the order of their presentation:

Ill : blogjump.eu

“Rêve oublié”, “Forgotten Dream” by Colbrak : fotocommunity.fr

A young man : Alex Pettyfer : actu-people.staragora.com

“As a child’s dream”, by the photograph Peter Zulnik

Heavy remorse : Ici.tf1.fr

Smoking : newcourriercasablanca.com

Love affair : actu-people.staragora.com

Tendresse, painting by the French artist Anne Marie Volodos : http://mapage.noos.fr/anne-marie.volodos  

Hand in hand : babynewhome.com

You find this study on the French Blog on 05 22 2007 

In the preceding pages I have introduced you to dream incubation. This practice permits us to receive from the unconscious information that the conscious is unable to have access to.

I showed you how this practice is still valid today as in the ancient times and how to proceed.

Last time, with Irina’s example we saw how her dream answered her and showed her that the lover she was thinking of was not a good prospect.

So again she asks what she could do to meet a suitable partner.

A building 

For the dreamer it’s where the occupants share common habits.

Irina hopes that the dream will show her how to find a suitable partner.

Following the interview technique, now I have to ask what this description reminds her of, in regards to her incubation question.

So I proceed very methodically and say :

- Having asked your dream how to find a suitable partner, what does a building, where the occupants share common habits remind you of ?

- Oh ! says Irina, that reminds me of the singles club where I go regularly.

A cat

For Irina, this animal is an independent male who goes out at night to hunt or chase a “beauty”.  Isn’t that the description of a man?... So the dream, through its symbolism, is  talking about a man, whom Irina  knows well and meets regularly.  Who is this man ?

Now, is the dream giving more precise details ?

She goes to feed this cat.         

What does she feed him with ?  

With flesh?  Who is this man with whom there is contact of the flesh?

Among the many men she dances with at the club, who is the man the dream is singling out ? Let’s examine the next image :  

Every time she arrives, the cat rushes towards her.

 - I see, Irina cries out, that’s Frank.  He always comes to get me when he sees me.  He’d like me to go out with him, but I'm not really attracted to him.

Let’s go through the verifications:  is this man independent?  He sure is.          

So why does this independent man rush to meet her ?  Because she is also independent and he knows that she’s not the “you and me forever” type. 

-  But, remarks Irina, another man also rushes towards me, it’s Stephan.

Frank ? Stephan ?

We haven’t got a clear answer yet. So let’s see if the following part of the dream gives us more precise clues.         

I show Eva a pretty bra which I have just bought 

 A bra enhances the breasts.

It allows a woman to use her power of seduction, it gives a charming glimpse at feminine eroticism.

- As a matter of fact, Irina adds, lately I’ve changed, I’ve bought new outfits, less sober, much more sexy.                                                                    

And so the dream underlines the efforts made by our dreamer to seduce the men around her. 

Irina bursts out in a joyous, refreshing laughter and says:

- You know, Christiane, I am quite popular !

I notice that the cat is slipping away. 

Well, while the pretty woman is savoring her popularity with one and the other, all of a sudden the tomcat is running off.     

Is it Frank or could it be Stephan?

- Ah! It’s true, says Irina ! Frank is turning away from me because I haven’t responded to his advances. 

And what does the dream say?                                                                               

My sister Eva says I have to bring him back.

Well there we are !

Eva, the woman who knows what she wants gives this advice.

-Gosh ! says Irina. Frank ? I would have preferred someone else.  He’s not bad but it’s not love at first sight.

 Yes, but the dream considers Frank a real male, an instinctive virile man, this is quite different from insect infested branches as in the preceding dream. 

Maybe Irina should remember that she wants enjoyable sexual relations and therefore change her point of view.

Well, now we have the indications of the dream.  They are not what Irina expected but they bring something new.  Irina doesn’t know everything, perhaps her view is limited to the surface, the appearances.

- Listen, she says, Christiane, I’ve been working with you interpreting my dreams for a couple of months and everything you’ve told me concerning them has been so exact.  If I had listened to them, I would have avoided lots of trouble. So I’ll see, I’ll go and meet him.

But she has to hurry, he’s taking off.       

You will find the text in french on the french blog

http://christiane-riedel.blogspirit, 12 May 2007, (05 10 2007)

Illustrations

I thank the artists and photographers, whose works permit me to illustrate my blog.

Laughing cat : maxcrabouif.zeblog.com

Cat : fond-ecran-image.com

Cat : pixfr.eu

Cat : naturailes.org

Bra :cannnes.olx.fr