An insignificant dream !
We last spoke of Helena (05/ 18), the mother of two children. She had just learnt she was pregnant and was left facing a painful dilemma : Would she keep her baby or abort ? She incubated a dream but it did not tell her what she should do. However it advised her to look within herself to discover what she really wanted.
And so Helena is still tormented.
Knowing how trying this situation is for her, I phone her to see how she is doing.
- Helena, how are you?
- I have unbelievable headaches, nausea and I’m exhausted.
- Did you see the doctor as planned?
- No, my gynecologist won’t be there till next week and the G.P. is away.
- Did you get a dream?
- Pff! I don’t know what, it was something hazy. Wof ! A thing, almost nothing, I’ve half forgotten anyway.
As for me, I’m not offended, her reaction illustrates the general attitude towards dreams in France.I reply :
- It doesn’t matter Helena. If you want, we can look at the dream. Tell me what you remember of it.
I was with a guy, a young man. I found him attractive. We walked side by side on the street. I was trying to get closer to him, but he wasn’t responding.
I proceed methodically with the interview technique :
A young man
I ask her the usual question :
- Helena, what is a young man?
- It’s a dynamic man, full of ambition who wants to make his life a success.
- How does a young man live?
- He’s not responsible for a family yet and he can live all kinds of experiences.
I recapitulate the description and establish the link with her daily life :
- So, at this time, what does a dynamic person, who wants to live all kinds of experiences and not be responsible for a family, remind you of?
- Oh! Ha! Well, it’s me, who would like to live differently and that’s why I’m hesitating to keep the baby.
So then, according to Helena’s own associations, the young man represents the side of Helena, who doesn’t want to have the baby.
Let’ us see further:
I found him attractive.
The young woman is attracted, tempted to adopt the young man’s attitude, refusing the responsibility to take care of a third child.
Now the dream considers what would happen, if Helena chose to live like the young man.
We are walking side by side on the street
- What is a street ?
- The street is where everyday life takes place, answers Helena
- What is that street like?
- It’s small, it’s dark.
- So, it describes a dark little everyday life.
I try to get more details and ask :
- Could you give the name of this street ?
- Euh…Evylod street.
- Evylod ? Sounds like a pun, a play on words, they are frequent in dreams. Tell me, Helena, do you hear something in Evylod ?
- …Yes,… I hear heavy, … and lod, load ! Oh ! Evylod sounds like… “heavy load”. My God, Helena cries out, that’s what I thought. This decision would be a heavy load to carry. I would be haunted by the idea that I could have kept the baby.
A few seconds of emotion.
Then I continue exploring the images and ask :
- In what city is this street located ?
- In the city I lived in, when I was a teenager, answers Helena. I don’t feel like going back there.
All of a sudden Helena flares up:
- At that time I was completely immature, I went out, I was partying all the time, I was irresponsible. I screwed around a lot, I drank and smoked pot, it was “anything goes”! I don’t ever want to live like that again.
I am astounded and tell her :
- Helena, did you hear what you just said ?
No, when the dreamer describes an element of her dream, she doesn’t realize what she’s saying, so it’s up to me to recapitulate her comments so that she will become aware.
- Listen Helena, I will recapitulate what you’ve said :
If you decide to abort (walking with the young man)
- you will end up in a small, dark life (street)
- also bearing a heavy remorse (heavy load).
This would be the price to pay, because you preferred to go out, party and have affairs.
But you say you don’t want that kind of life anymore, so what does it mean ?
Helena is silent, she thinks, she tries to find an answer and finally mumbles :
- So, hum,… it means that I don’t want to find myself in the same situation as before and so… that I don’t want to go with that young man… And so…
But, that means… that means …that means I want to keep the child... …
I WANT TO KEEP THE CHILD the mother cries out !
She continues :
- Ho, it’s unreal! That’s what I felt, I’ve always wanted a third child but I was lost.
The voice of the young woman is trembling and I am also teary eyed.
The following dream images barely necessitate an interpretation.
I was trying to get closer to him, but he wasn’t responding.
The side of Helena who would like to experience all kinds of pleasures and activities in the outside world can’t be matched with the one who is pregnant. Helena can’t cumulate these two facets of herself simultaneously. It’s one or the other.
This young man is the opposite image of Sarkosy’s son, who appeared in her preceding dream. Through these different images we become aware that our inner world is made up of opposites. In Helena’s case, at this time, the opposites are
- on the one hand : discipline, effort, work
- and on the other hand : an easy life, pleasure and irresponsibility.
Now Helena has chosen.
We are both profoundly touched, filled with immense gratitude and marvel in regards to the dream.
Such an insignificant little dream, so unimpressive that the dreamer didn’t even want to look at it.
This benevolent dream made Helena aware of what she deeply wanted. Here again the dream doesn’t show her what she should do, it merely shows her the consequences of her choice. Then it’s up to her to draw her own conclusion and make her own choice.
And Helena chose lightheartedly.
I thank the artists for their illustrations listed in the order of their presentation:
Ill : blogjump.eu
“Rêve oublié”, “Forgotten Dream” by Colbrak : fotocommunity.fr
A young man : Alex Pettyfer : actu-people.staragora.com
“As a child’s dream”, by the photograph Peter Zulnik
Heavy remorse : Ici.tf1.fr
Smoking : newcourriercasablanca.com
Love affair : actu-people.staragora.com
Tendresse, painting by the French artist Anne Marie Volodos : http://mapage.noos.fr/anne-marie.volodos
Hand in hand : babynewhome.com
You find this study on the French Blog on 05 22 2007