An insignificant dream !

We last spoke of Helena (05/ 18), the mother of two children. She had just learnt she was pregnant and  was left facing a painful dilemma : Would she keep her baby or abort ?  She incubated a dream but it did not tell her what she should do. However it advised her to look within herself to discover what she really wanted. 

And so Helena is still tormented. 

Knowing how trying this situation is for her, I phone her to see how she is doing.

 - Helena, how are you?

- I have unbelievable headaches, nausea and I’m exhausted.

- Did you see the doctor as planned?

- No, my gynecologist won’t be there till next week and the G.P. is away.

- Did you get a dream?

- Pff! I don’t know what, it was something hazy. Wof !  A thing, almost nothing, I’ve half forgotten anyway.

As for me, I’m not offended, her reaction illustrates the general attitude towards dreams in France.I reply :

- It doesn’t matter Helena. If you want, we can look at the dream. Tell me what you remember of it. 

Dream

I was with a guy, a young man.  I found him attractive.  We walked side by side on the street.  I was trying to get closer to him, but he wasn’t responding.

Interpretation    

I proceed methodically with the interview technique :

A young man

I ask her the usual question :

- Helena, what is a young man?

- It’s a dynamic man, full of ambition who wants to make his life a success.

- How does a young man live?

- He’s not responsible for a family yet and he can live all kinds of experiences.

I recapitulate the description and establish the link with her daily life :

- So, at this time, what does a dynamic person, who wants to live all kinds of experiences and not be responsible for a family, remind you of?

- Oh!  Ha! Well, it’s me, who would like to live differently and that’s why I’m hesitating to keep the baby.

So then, according to Helena’s own associations, the young man represents the side of Helena, who doesn’t want to have the baby.

Let’ us see further:

I found him attractive. 

The young woman is attracted, tempted to adopt the young man’s attitude, refusing the responsibility to take care of a third child.

Now the dream considers what would happen, if Helena chose to live like the young man.

We are walking side by side on the street

- What is a street ?

- The street  is where everyday life takes place, answers Helena

- What is that street like?

- It’s small, it’s dark.

- So, it describes a dark little everyday life.

 I try to get more details and ask :

- Could you give the name of this street ?

- Euh…Evylod street.

- Evylod ? Sounds like a pun, a play on words, they are frequent in dreams. Tell me, Helena, do you hear something in Evylod ?

- …Yes,… I hear heavy, … and lod, load ! Oh ! Evylod sounds like… “heavy load”.  My God, Helena cries out, that’s what I thought. This decision would be a heavy load to carry.  I would be haunted by the idea that I could have kept the baby.

A few seconds of emotion.

Then I continue exploring the images and ask :

- In what city is this street located ?

- In the city I lived in, when I was a teenager, answers Helena. I don’t feel like going back there.

All of a sudden Helena flares up:

- At that time I was completely immature, I went out, I was partying all the time, I was irresponsible.  I screwed around a lot, I drank and smoked pot, it was “anything goes”!  I don’t ever want to live like that again.

I am astounded and tell her :

- Helena, did you hear what you just said ?

No, when the dreamer describes an element of her dream, she doesn’t realize what she’s saying, so it’s up to me to recapitulate her comments so that she will become aware.

- Listen Helena, I will recapitulate what you’ve said :

If you decide to abort (walking with the young man)

- you will end up in a small, dark life (street)

- also bearing a heavy remorse (heavy load).

This would be the price to pay, because you preferred to go out, party and have affairs. 

But you say you don’t want that kind of life anymore, so what does it mean ?

Helena is silent, she thinks, she tries to find an answer and finally mumbles :

- So, hum,… it means that I don’t want to find myself in the same situation as before and so… that I don’t want to go with that young man…  And so…

But, that means… that means …that means I want to keep the child... …

I WANT TO KEEP THE CHILD the mother cries out !

 She continues :

- Ho, it’s unreal!  That’s what I felt, I’ve always wanted a third child but I was lost.

The voice of the young woman is trembling and I am also teary eyed.

The following dream images barely necessitate an interpretation.

I was trying to get closer to him, but he wasn’t responding.

The side of Helena who would like to experience all kinds of pleasures and activities in the outside world can’t be matched with the one who is pregnant. Helena can’t cumulate these two facets of herself simultaneously.  It’s one or the other.

Commentary

This young man is the opposite image of Sarkosy’s son, who appeared in her preceding dream.  Through these different images we become aware that our inner world is made up of opposites.  In Helena’s case, at this time, the opposites are

- on the one hand : discipline, effort, work

- and on the other hand : an easy life, pleasure and irresponsibility.

Now Helena has chosen.

We are both profoundly touched, filled with immense gratitude and marvel in regards to the dream.

Such an insignificant little dream, so unimpressive that the dreamer didn’t even want to look at it.

This benevolent dream made Helena aware of what she deeply wanted. Here again the dream doesn’t show her what she should do, it merely shows her the consequences of her choice. Then it’s up to her to draw her own conclusion and make her own choice.

And Helena chose lightheartedly.

Illustrations

I thank the artists for their illustrations listed in the order of their presentation:

Ill : blogjump.eu

“Rêve oublié”, “Forgotten Dream” by Colbrak : fotocommunity.fr

A young man : Alex Pettyfer : actu-people.staragora.com

“As a child’s dream”, by the photograph Peter Zulnik

Heavy remorse : Ici.tf1.fr

Smoking : newcourriercasablanca.com

Love affair : actu-people.staragora.com

Tendresse, painting by the French artist Anne Marie Volodos : http://mapage.noos.fr/anne-marie.volodos  

Hand in hand : babynewhome.com

You find this study on the French Blog on 05 22 2007 

Dear blog friends,

We have been away from this blog too long and we often thought we should publish a little note to explain our prolonged absence.  Now that we have a bit more time, we want to share with you the latest news concerning our work with dreams.

Christiane’s comments

“ My conference this year at the symposium of the International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD), required a huge amount of time for preparation from November 2010 on.

The first task, accomplished by Judith, was the translation of the French conference. I had to cut out many details of the text because I speak slower in English and I had to respect the allotted time. But the most arduous work for me was to correct my thick French accent.

Going over the text numerous times with Judith, my English teacher, finally helped me to manage it. 

As all the required prepations before the Congress worried me a lot, I was comforted by a dream which told me that everything was OK.

The symposium took place on the last week of June in Rolduc, Netherlands, near the German border. The magnificent building is an old abbey which has been converted into a hotel and congress center

The four day symposium was a real success thanks to IASD’s admirable organizing committee.

There were approximately 200 presenters and co-presenters, who together with the attendees represented 30 countries from around the world.  This year’s theme being “Dreams and Cultural Diversity”, every attendee could choose according to his own interests among the presentations from so many different cultures.

I had the pleasure of meeting with the American researcher Dr Scott Sparrow, whose work guided me 35 years ago when I first started working with dreams.

Among so many interesting dream lovers I met Layne Dalfen, a Canadian analyst, who, like me, explains dreams on her blog.

It was also the ideal occasion to meet with Europeans who share the same passion for dreams. Here are only some of them.

We will get together to pursue our common goal and spread the work with the dreams.  As members of the European chapter of the IASD, we have decided to initiate some activities: exchanges through Internet and a yearly meeting.  Harry Bosma, from Holland is our coordinator and he has created the site for our exchanges.

As for me, every morning from 8 to 9, I animated a dream group.  Working with a participant’s dream, I showed how to use the interview technique to find the meaning of the images.

As to my conference “Loving and Sexual Scenarios in Dreams”, some people said : “ Interesting and funny !” I hope I invalidated some frequent prejudices linked to the interpretation of these images.

The congress closed with its traditional ball and the costume contest.”

After those intensive days I had more work waiting for me upon my return.

(Oh my computer is bold... !)

 “ On the 8^th of July I had been invited by a local radio network to participate in a night program from midnight to 6 in the morning.  You heard me right.

I spoke about dreams and I interpreted live twelve submitted to me by the listeners. I withstood it for 41/2 hours and then went home…rather tired.  It took me two days to recuperate!

That night, while driving my car, guided by my GPS, I remembered with emotion a sentence I had heard in Rolduc :

“The most comprehensive TomTom navigating system and Internet explorer are found within yourself !” That sentence was spoken by the business man Jan H.Kieft in his remarkable conference “The Road to Enlightenment according to my Dream”.

And I ask : Where is it within yourself ? In your dreams, of course.

Then in the following two weeks I prepared the intensive five day dream interpretation training seminar for my students. It has just ended.

So now I am free to pursue the studies on the blog!”

Next time, we will resume the studies on dream incubation where we left off.

Christiane and Judith

Illustrations

IASD logo : link on the left in the blue part of the blog

Painting : Dream and cultural diversity, by the artist Willem Fermont, Manager in the Netherlands Conference committee

Dr Scott Sparrow, pioneer in lucid dream and dream analysis, professor at the University of Texas

Layne Dalfen from Canada

Tony Hawkins from England “ Rooted in Reality, Informed by dreams, Born of the Infinite”

?

Anita Leuthold from Swizerland, dream analyst

Anne Marie Gabella from Switzerland leads dream groups

Judith with Ghazaal Bosorgmehr from Iran, specialist of dreams in Iran literature with Jung’s psychological approach.

Harry Bosma, developing the dream research and exchanges on Internet

Sakira Lanting and Mark Thuring, psychologists in Netherlands, attending Christiane’s dream group

Christiane during the morning dream group

Christiane during her conference

Christiane and Judith, after the conference

Christiane and Brenda Ferrimani, American artist

Moon-Brenda and Sun in pleasant company

Richard Wilkerson, IASD web and office Manager

Curtis Hoffman, Professor of Anthroplogy and Archeology, also animates dream groups.

- Curtis disguised in baby

- Curtis looks like a Greek god